


not different

by ugandadistrict9



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Canon-typical language, Gen, Mild Transphobia, Pregnancy, Trans Character, church isnt really an asshole, he tries, idk - Freeform, tucker is Fed Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ugandadistrict9/pseuds/ugandadistrict9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A pair of drabbles about trans Tucker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scar

**Author's Note:**

> back in june i wrote a pile of short drabbles based on one word prompts from the "100 theme challenge". obviously i didnt get to a hundred but i reread all the ones i did write and plenty of them were GOOD so i decided to put them here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if this makes sense or not and i wasnt sure of it when i wrote it but looking back a few months later i really like how it turned out so have it whether it does or not

“Where did you get that…?”

 

“What?” Tucker’s eyes followed Church’s finger to his stomach, exposed as his t-shirt rode up due to the stretch he was doing. He let his arms drop to his sides. He lifted up his shirt again, showing off the nasty scar that ran across his lower stomach. “This?” he asked. It wasn't often the Blues saw each other without their armour, so they probably had a lot of things they didn't know about each other, but Tucker was still surprised that Church would ask.

 

“Yeah. I never noticed that before. Rough childhood?”

 

“No, it’s from…. wait, are you just assuming that I had a rough childhood because I’m black, because I swear to _God,_ Church-”

 

“Tucker, no,” Church raised his hands defensively, “I--”

 

“Don’t even try.” Tucker sighed heavily. “The scar’s from when I had a cesarean section, dude. Remember?”

 

“No… no, I do not remember…” Tucker’s teammate had a considerably disturbed frown on his face. “You had a-- _You_ were _pregnant_?”

 

“Uh, yeah, dude. Is this just one of the things you didn’t remember or something..? Ugh. I guess Caboose never told you about that. I keep on forgetting that you're Epsilon, not our Church.”

 

“You. Gave birth. To a baby.”

 

“Yeah. An alien baby. Where did you think Junior came from?”

 

“An _alien_ baby. Wait, are you trying to tell me you fuc-”

 

“Whoa-hooo, hold it right there, tiger. No. The aliens have some kind of weird way of reproducing. They somehow implant this virus thing in you, that makes you get pregnant with their baby. Without you even knowing. It makes its way to your womb through like, your blood or something, I dunno. I wasn’t really paying attention to the logic behind it, I was kinda busy being in fuckin’ labour.”

 

“Wai-wai-wai-wait, hold on, stop, whoa, wait, _whoa_. Your _womb_? You have a womb? You’re a guy. You’re not supposed to have a womb, did the aliens implant that in you too? Or… wait. Tucker?”

 

Tucker’s expression soured. “Here we fucking go,” he murmured. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, dude. I have a vagina, okay?”

 

Church looked completely puzzled. “You have a--a what sorry?”

 

“You know you heard me. God, you are the last fucking person I wanted to have this goddamned fucking conversation with. Jesus _Christ_.”

 

“You? You’re... ? But you--you don’t look like a-”

 

“Holy mother of God, kill me right now,” Tucker mumbled to himself. “Just fucking do it. I hope I die in the next three minutes.”

 

“But you’re, like, so masculine, and-”

 

“Scratch that, make it the next thirty seconds. Peace out, world. It’s been a good run.”

 

“I thought that--?”

 

“Oh, for the love of God, Church, shut the _fuck_ up!! It’s not that big of a deal, alright?” Tucker snapped. “Stop talking; you’re stupider than Caboose.”

 

“I-I’m sorry, man, I didn’t mean to, like, offend you and stuff.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“Wait, were you trying to imply that Caboose would understand this better than me? Because that's just insulting, dude.”

 

“He does.”

 

“What?”

 

Tucker waited a second, watching Church’s face as it sunk in.

 

“ _Oh_ ,” was all he said.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Church cleared his throat. “Wow, dude, I’m--I’m really sorry. I guess I was the only one who didn’t know. I feel like an asshole right now.”

 

‘You are,’ Tucker wanted to say. He breathed a heavy sigh. “It’s fine, okay? Just leave it. You never knew, because I never told you. Because you didn’t need to know. It doesn’t affect anything.”

 

“Okay, okay, but, like, I legitimately don’t mean to be rude for once, I just, never really would’ve guessed. You’re really really… like, manly. I don’t mean that in any kind of like, derogatory way, either. I mean like,”

 

Church shrunk back a bit as he noticed Tucker’s exasperated glare.

 

“I mean, I’m super proud of you, man. You’ve probably come…. a long way to, become the annoying womanizing douche that you are today.” Church didn’t seem 100% sure of his words, but it was quite obvious he was well-intending.

 

Tucker’s eyes widened. He didn't really take note of the insult part. “Thanks, dude,” was all he could say.

 

There was a short period of silence, until Church turned back towards Tucker, an expression of tremendous concern on his small, holographic face.

 

“Wait. Hold on. I got distracted by the unimportant part of your explanation and we went off on a tangent. Holy fucking shit, back up. You being able to get pregnant is not the disturbing part of this story. I was just being a cunt. That part’s not even the least bit concerning. No. It's the C-section part. Tucker. _Tucker_. You’re telling me, you had a cesarean section, in _Blood Gulch_. Who the fuck performed a fucking cesarean section on you in Blood Gulch? Someone--someone in _Blood Gulch_ … cut your stomach open.... delivered your fuckin’ baby…. and sewed you back together again? How are you still alive? There wasn't even a single qualified medic there, let alone a _doctor_!! Was it-- no. Don't even let me say it. It-it wasn't _Caboose_ , was it?” Church’s voice lulled to a whisper. “Oh. My. _God_.”

 

“Fuck no! There was one medic, remember? I couldn't exactly call him qualified, though. In retrospect, Caboose probably would have been more qualified than him. How _am_ I alive?”

 

“Wait, you mean _Doc_? The pansy purple guy? You let that fucking moron do a _C-section_ on you? Are you insane!? You'd’ve had a better chance of survival cutting the thing out yourself!!”

 

“I practically did, my dude.”

 

“That's…” Church sat back, reflecting on what he'd just learned. “Rough,” he murmured.

 

“Yeah, man. Yeah it is.”

 

“I think I just gained an all-new respect for you, Tucker.”

 

Tucker clicked his tongue in response, a small smile playing up his lips.


	2. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really love the idea that tucker is secretly super insecure :')

“So, no, Church. No, I haven’t ever slept with anyone who wasn’t an alien. For your information, I was super popular in college; I wheeled more chicks than you could ever imagine. But I never ended up taking any of them home with me. I’d always make up some kind of excuse as to why I couldn’t, or just sneak out on them. Yeah, sure, I was kind of a playa. But I mean, I couldn’t take a girl home with me, dude. I just couldn’t. A straight girl? She would never have it with me. How would you like to find out the manly, buff, black guy who wants to fuck you doesn’t even have a dick?” Tucker sighed, smiling sadly and looking up at the sky. “I almost worked up the courage a couple times, but I would always freak the fuck out last minute. I was so afraid. I once invited this babe over for Netflix and chill, and I was super excited, because she seemed so nice. I planned to tell her all about my things and stuff, but when she got to my house, I suddenly panicked, and I just locked the door and pretended I wasn’t home. She got really mad at me for blowing her off, and eventually we stopped talking. The only person I ever told stopped talking to me after I told him. I thought he was my best friend.”

“Wow, dude,” Church said simply, not sure what else to say. He was rendered speechless. He was looking at Tucker with wide eyes. He had never expected to hear things like this about Tucker. Tucker seemed like such a confident, manly guy. It was almost heartbreaking for Church to imagine the kind of things he’d been through.

“I was fortunate enough to pass, then, at least. High school was a complete hell for me that I never want to even think about ever again. But there was something completely different about being seen as a man and having to tell people you have a vagina. It was... it was almost more hellish than telling people who see you as a girl that you’re really a boy.”

“Man…”

“So, yeah. My life hasn’t exactly been easy. I know yours hasn’t, either, what with Tex and all, but that’s a different kind of hard than my hard.”

“Uh, bow chicka bow wow?” Church offered uneasily.

Surprised, Tucker erupted in a fit of giggles, then his smile quickly faded. He swallowed, looking uncomfortable.

Church furrowed his brow, gazing intently at Tucker. Why had he stopped laughing? Something had definitely bothered him right there. Something other than Church’s joke. Church’s mouth fell open as he realized it.

“Tucker,” he urged.

“Huh?”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t, don’t be embarrassed about that laugh. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. It’s not a girly laugh. It’s just- it’s just a Tucker-y laugh. It’s fine the way it is.”

Tucker put a hand on his cheek, cooling his warming flesh. “Really?” he asked lightly, voice faltering. “No…”

“Tucker. Tucker, look, I-” Church huffed. “I’m bad at compliments, alright? But I seriously-- I seriously love your laugh. Do not try to change it because of me. You know that I don’t care. I don’t care what you sound like. You could have the pansiest, gayest fuckin’ soprano voice ever, and it still wouldn’t make you any less of a man. You’re bigger than this. A little giggling can’t stop you. You’re so- you’re like, strong and shit. Listen to me,” he rambled, “your laugh is fine. In fact, it’s gorgeous. Well, maybe not gorgeous, that’s kinda gay, I meant... Well, actually, you know what? Yeah. Yeah, it’s fucking gorgeous. I don’t care if that’s gay. It’s true. Tucker, listen, you’re beautiful. I mean handsome. You are a handsome man.”

“Church.”

“No. No arguments. I’m not going to say it again. You’re alright.”

Tucker was smiling, looking up at Church, filled with a certain joy. The speech hadn't exactly been polished, but it was more than enough for Tucker.

“You’re alright,” Church repeated, awkwardly putting his hand on Tucker’s knee.

“Thanks, Church.”

Church nodded in acknowledgement, knowing he did not need to respond to that.  
They sat in silence for a while, just gazing out at the night sky. Blood Gulch only had a few nights of darkness, and they liked to live them to the fullest.

“Hey, thanks for letting me talk about this,” Tucker said shyly after Church started to yawn in the silence. “I was worried about how you would handle it, but you’ve been pretty okay about it.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty okay,” Church agreed.


End file.
